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Old 06-12-2015, 12:22 PM   #1
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Talking Funny camping stories...

Reading about the sale of fishing equipment reminded me of my youth...

I don't fish. The "why" is that I don't like to eat fish and since my Dad taught me to be logical, if I'm not going to eat fish, why would I go fishing, right?

My parents, however, L O V E D to fish. So, every year, we'd convert our VW bus to camper mode (home made Westfalia-style camper inserts) [when I was very young] or pack the trailer [13 and up] and go for a week or ten days of camping/fishing somewhere in California. The Three Rivers area was always a stop for a few days with the possibility of heading up to Truckee.

My Mom was the Costello to my Dad's Abbot.

At that time, your fishing license was always in a little plastic pouch and pinned to your clothing so you could easily pull it out for the Warden to look at. Mom & Dad always had their license pouch on their fishing vest. We were at Three Rivers, Mom & Dad are fishing, I'm goofing off and here comes Cal. Fish & Game, aka the Game Warden, checking fishing licenses. He approaches Mom first with "Morning, license please." Mom has a 5 ft rod and a line in the water, a cigarette in her mouth and a stringer with 4 or 5 Rainbow trout on it. Her hair is a mess because she decided that she didn't have to worry about it this particular morning, probably with this in mind. Mom turns and looks at the Warden with the blankest face I've seen and says, "What for?"

GW: You're fishing, I'd like to see your license.
Mom: I'm not fishing. I'm enjoying the scenery.
GW: You're fishing. You have a rod, reel and fish on a stringer. C'mon Lady, just show me your license. It's right there on your vest.
Mom: Those are my husbands fish. [with an increasing level of fear and panic in her voice. She actually let the cigarette drop out of her mouth during this] I'm, I'm, I'm drowning these damn worms. I hate these SOBs. They're crawly and they stink. I hate 'em.
GW: [Flustered now] Okay, Ma'am. [backing away] Have a nice day... [walks up river towards my Dad] Sir? Is this your wife?
Mom: [under her breath] What a putz!
Dad: I have no idea who she is. She walked over here, told me I was in the way and stood over my stringer. Something's wrong with her 'cuz she grabbed my worms and spare rod...
GW: M'kay... [walks off up stream]

After the Game Warden walked out of sight:
Mom: I TOLD you it would work!
Seems that they had forgotten to get new licenses and really wanted to fish...
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Old 06-12-2015, 01:41 PM   #2
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Too cool!


Speaking of fishing, I'm camping at a small lake with wife and kids and another family.

The kids were playing with bait in the water, not trying to catch a fish really. I went down to the water's edge to see how they were doing and one of them, four girls, decided she needed to visit the Port-A-Potty. Girls being girls they all had to go too. I get handed the rod for safe keeping so what the hey, might as well try to snag a Bluegill.

I look up and the Game Warden is approaching me with intent in his eyes. Nope, don't have a fishing license, just holding the rod until the girls get back from the john.

Game Warden writes a ticket because he doesn't see any girls and because he can't wait, more tickets to be written you see.

At that time I was a commissioned foreign car mechanic. I had to take time off to explain my story to the local JP, the justice didn't buy my story either.

After loosing my day's work commission and the price of the ticket it was a very costly day.

The moral of the story, do go fishing with four little girls.

Those were the days of the 8 foot Scotty TT
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Old 06-12-2015, 07:47 PM   #3
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About three years ago, SWMBO decided that we were going to go to visit the Biltmore Mansion during Easter weekend. Athena the cat was maybe a year old at that time. So, off we go to Asheville N.C.

At that time, we were in a 24' Fleetwood Pioneer. We get settled in our spot at the Asheville East KOA and SWMBO goes to the camp store to find out what's happening and where things are while I'm finishing hooking up hotel services (water, electric, sewer and cable tv) when a loud BOOM of thunder shakes every rig in the place. This also startles Athena! And the back of the couch was in line with the screen door. Startled cats look for an escape route and the main door was open and the screen door was shut. Bam! Athena hits the screen door which bows enough to open. Athena may not have had a good grip on the screen door because she ended up on the ground. And as Athena lands in the open, the screen door bounces off of the main door and recloses. Athena can't get back in IF she wanted to. I'm on the opposite side of the trailer and hear the door slam open and then reclose. As I get around the trailer, I spot Athena going under the trailer. So, I drop to hands and knees to collect a frightened kitten. Did I mention that I'm wearing a kilt? No? Well, I was. And I was very comfortable in my kilt. As in there was little to obstruct a breeze from my man parts. Except for the kilt. Athena saunters to the far side of the trailer away from me. Strutting! Her tail hitting the undercarriage. So, I go to the other side just in time to see her stroll under my truck. So, I get up and get the treat box from the trailer. I bribe her out from under the truck with a few Greenies, pick her up and put her back into the trailer. Our beagle, San, was over 14 at the time and had no intention of trying to chase the cat. So, I put Athena back into the trailer and return to my duties of making the trailer into a home.

Unknown to me, SWMBO was talking with the person in the camp store when the thunder occurred. They both looked out the window to see what had happened and got to watch yours truly attempting to collect the cat. And while nothing ungentlemanly was on display, SWMBO said it was like watching a fan dance as there were lots of movement and fabric was swaying about; it got their attention and they were actually betting to see IF they would be able to tell others what they had saw.

Well, I hear the screen door slam again. I come around the trailer to see Athena at the picnic table, looking in my direction. Upon seeing me, she hops under the trailer next to ours. I know this game now, I go and get the treat box. SWMBO also arrives to assist with getting Athena. SWMBO actually crawled under the other trailer and got Athena, scolded her and put her into our trailer.

SWMBO then shows me the bottle of wine that was given to her by the lady working in the camp store. It seems that they had bet on whether any manly bits would be seen and she had won. The campground owners came by and thanked me for the show of how to collect a cat while in a kilt. By this point, it was hard to be embarrassed since I had nearly been exposed. And we got to meet all of the neighbors that witnessed the event while having libations later that evening. A lot of the ladies were asking about where the kilt was made and how much it cost while the gents were telling me that there was no way that they'd buy a kilt. It was a good trip.
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Old 06-13-2015, 03:07 AM   #4
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We were toobin' the Guadalupe with all the girls and a few of their friends. The campground we stayed at on the river was crowded for the holiday weekend. During the summer it doesn't get dark until after 9:00 PM and we came in from a long day to cook dinner.

After the meal the girls wanted to play "Catch Phrase". They were havin' a great time hollerin' out the clues and laughin' at each other.

We heard sirens and out of curiosity looked out to see what was goin' on, the sheriff screeched up to our campsite and jumped out like he was chasing bank robbers. He asked us what was goin' on and when he saw a bunch of teenage girls playing charades I think he was a little embarrassed because he left in a hurry after telling them to keep the noise down.

I guess we lost track of time as it was after midnight. I apologized to my neighbors but nobody copped to calling the sheriff. I did put the girls on a curfew for rest of the weekend.
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Old 08-13-2015, 09:41 AM   #5
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Wink Power of the Military Spouse

A few of years ago, our son was graduating Army Basic Training at Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri. Being a military retiree (Navy CPO), I still have access and privileges so we reserved a spot at the FamCamp (Family Camping area) at Lake of the Ozarks.

Now, just because it is a Family Campground does not mean that it is not used for other purposes. In fact, Monday thru Friday, the Sapper (combat engineers, i.e., guys that make things go BOOM!) trainees run the trails and roads of the FamCamp with their rubber rafts held above their heads, singing cadence... at 5:30 AM.

So, first morning there at 0530, here comes the singing and stomping of 8 boat crews, 7 men the boat, coming up the rise towards our spot. I'm already up, smoking and drinking coffee outside on a nice January, 28* morning, dog in tow about 100 yards away for the morning duties when the first crew is closing up to our trailer. These guys were calling cadence loud enough to have echo earlier but had stopped as they entered the campground. And the first boat crew instructor thought it was time for a cadence as they reached the crest where we were, so he merely said "Cadence" and the first boat let loose!

BAM! The trailer door is thrown open and there she is, Mrs. Chief, in all of her glory, hair going every which way, bathrobe and slippers on and pulled tight. And she issues the Orders of the Day to the entire training cadre in a voice that the senior drill sergeant later told us was straight out of the Army Training Manuals:

YOU! WILL! KEEP! THE! NOISE! DOWN! WHILE! GOOD! PEOPLE! ARE! TRYING! TO! SLEEP!

And BAM, the door is slammed shut.

The entire training cadre stopped right where they were. No one called halt, it was her voice that was heard over the cadence calls of the boat crews that commanded: "I will be obeyed!"

The only noise for about five seconds was little forest creatures. Then, the lead boat team instructor announces: "Quiet March!" And the boat teams start their forward motion again, but now only the occasional call of "Left" was heard to keep the team in step.

And my wife went back to sleep.

The next morning, I was up early again and could hear the boat crews coming down the road from their main training area. And as they reached the campground perimeter, I heard: "Detail, Quiet March!" The cadences stopped and only the occasional call of "Left" to keep the teams in step was heard as they continued the 3/4 mile path to the shoreline training area. As they passed me and the dog, each instructor greeted me with "Good Morning, Sir. Sorry for waking your wife."
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Old 08-14-2015, 02:05 AM   #6
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Mole, real funny story!! Thanks for the laugh.
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